Kaden's Birth Story

April 2016 May 2016

Kaden’s birth story starts mid-pregnancy as I sought input about having a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I know some would think me crazy! Why choose to go that route when I could easily shower and look cute with a scheduled c-section?!

For me, I relate it to someone who is an average runner. One who has trained and prepared for a marathon. Then, during that first marathon, after putting 110% into it, in mile 25 a hamstring is pulled. The runner finishes it walking yet the real desire was to finish by running across the finish line. That’s me with birth! My labor and delivery with Lukas ended in a cesarean, which I was fully on-board with and glad to do after 110% of effort! I wanted to run the labor & delivery race again to see if we could get a different outcome - a different race finish if you will ;) Thus, I chose to attempt a VBAC for Kaden’s birth. We looked into the options for VBAC’s around us and by process of elimination landed on choosing a midwife at a birth center in Moscow, ID (20 minutes from us).

In mid-December, about four months pregnant, we moved in with Karl’s parents so he could begin renovations in the evenings and weekends on the downstairs unit of the Irving St duplex. where we had been living (seemed like a good idea at the time). Having help with Lukas as I got larger and more tired was every mom’s dream! I was definitely spoiled and enjoyed every minute of it.

Roughly three weeks prior to Kaden’s due date of May 14, I started having contractions about 15 minutes apart. This timing was not ideal! We were trying to get work on Irving to a point that inspections could be had and then pass the sheetrock phase on to someone else. Karl was also working on some video prep for his summer courses that, if need be, he could have someone cover his class for a day or two depending on when I went into labor.  

In order to not encourage labor, I rested as much as one can while chasing an active toddler to give Karl as much time as possible to work before baby arrived! The contractions would ease up during the night and mornings and then begin in the late afternoons and evenings. They weren’t consistent but did begin to become stronger and longer. Thankfully, Kaden chose to wait and we were able to get to the week of his due date, which was also the start of summer classes for Karl.

I began to be more active that week. His due date of Thursday, May 14 came and went. Friday evening, Karl’s sister, Kari and his two aunts, Nadine and Lauren, surprised us with a visit! They were hoping for a baby to snuggle but Kaden had his own timing in store. On Saturday, Karl worked on the Irving house renovation with Kari’s, Nadine’s, & Lauren’s help. It was a quick visit as we waved them off that afternoon after the renovation work so they could be back for things on Sunday. 

(Picture: Aunt Lauren hanging out Friday, two days before Kaden arrived! Lukas at 19 months! Me at very pregnant.)

Sunday morning, May 17, around 4:00 a.m. Kaden began making it known that he was now ready! I lay in bed realizing contraction pain was increasing and timing between was becoming shorter. I woke Karl up around 4:30 to alert him. We were excited...and excited we’d made it this far! I sent Nicole, our doula, a text around 5:15 a.m. asking how her other client was doing since I knew she was at another birth - same thing happened with Lukas’ labor - ha! She replied that the baby had arrived a few hours earlier and a little more sleep would be nice but she’d be ready whenever we wanted her. Love her!! I lasted about 23 minutes to be exact. I sent her another text that I’d like her with us. Only an hour after my first alert to her, she was present and ready to support us in all things laboring!! Karl let his parents know we were in labor downstairs and they would be officially on Lukas duty when he woke up.

The next several hours Nicole had me in various positions to help Kaden continue to drop and be in good position. I also continued to wait for the pain to increase. It never did. Don’t get me wrong. There was definitely labor pains! But with Lukas’ birth I was induced with pitocin to get my contractions going. When I had sought understanding for a VBAC, the gal I met with told me to think of the pain with a pitocin-induced labor at a “10” on a scale. Then, drop that pain down a couple notches to an “8” for a labor that begins naturally. It was totally true! I was even more proud of myself going el-natural (no pain meds/epidural) with Lukas’ labor on pitocin! Around 12:30 p.m., Nicole suggested a shower to help ease the aches, I went into the bathroom and basically turned around. The thought of getting in and out and knowing we still had drive somewhere, was not appealing. She suggested it was probably a good time to head to Moscow and the birth center to our mid-wife.

(Picture: The only one we took laboring at home. Early labor stage with that goofy look :) Truth be told, I was bummed we didn’t take more at home to capture all we did!)

In preparation for the drive, Nicole tied a rebozo (think long fabric) underneath my tummy and around my hips to support and apply pressure for the contractions as we drove to the birth center (20 minutes away). Nicole drove her car and Karl (obviously!) drove us. I was kneeling on the front floorboards of the passenger side with my head laying on the seat and my hands grabbing the seat back. It was probably the most intense pain as we were driving and I didn’t have Karl and Nicole’s support around my hips. We made it though! And so did my midwife Nancy. She had been on a call an hour and half away at another birth, had just gotten home to take a shower and get sleep when Nicole called letting her know we were in transit :D Ahhh, the life of babies for midwives and doulas! Always making things exciting and sleepless.

Once we arrived at the birth center and settled in, Nancy told me that normally she doesn’t check right away but because there was another possible baby on its way as well, she needed to make a plan depending on how far along I was. (Side note: Nancy delivered four babies within 24 hours. Kaden was number three!) I agreed to the check of course and prepared myself to be 3 to 4 cm. As she was feeling me, she paused and got a funny look on her face. Then she said, “Kristy, I think you’re 9 cm!” She double-checked and sure enough, I was 9 cm. I was ecstatic! Those hours laboring at home, along with the positions Nicole had me in, my body had done its job!

Back pressure from Nicole, Emotional support from Karl

During the next two hours of laboring, Karl and I got in the birthing tub which was one of my favorite parts during those two hours. Having Karl apply hip pressure during contractions in a big tub of water could almost be called relaxing. Almost. After a while though, I was antsy and didn’t want to be in the tub any longer. Around 4 p.m., we chose to have Nancy break my waters in hopes that it put me into pushing mode. It did the trick! Pushing Kaden was different than with Lukas, which makes sense because that’s where Lukas stopped descending after the first hour of pushing with him. Just for my memory alone, labor had felt like “nothing” up to this point compared to Lukas’ - that’s what surprised me the most.  That is, until the pushing.

What I remember most about pushing with Kaden is that I felt most comfortable on the birthing stool leaning against Karl (who was back to back with Nicole for support) and having my legs propped up on Nancy’s shoulders as she sat in front of me so I had something to push against. We also all joked with Karl that he needed to use his engineering to figure out some sort of gadget that connects to the birthing stool to help the leg pushing support and make us all lots of money. The things you do while pushing a baby out….

Left: The best support team a girl could ask for.

Right: Nancy (on the right), our fantastic midwife, with Nicole and Kaden at 2.5 months

Nancy continued to check Kaden’s heart rate as I continued the pushing process. About an hour and half into pushing, they were seeing his head, but she was also watching his heart rate drop. At that point, instead of her slow and steady pushing approach, she told me we needed to get him out. And to PUSH on the next few contractions. PUSH, I did.

With ALL I had, I pushed Kaden into the world. Yes, pain. Yes, glory. Yes, amazing. I get choked up just thinking about it. Nancy placed him on my chest and I couldn’t believe that we had just accomplished a VBAC. It was an amazing moment. I will say here that I’ve heard pushing your baby out naturally creates some sort of amazing high yet I can’t say that I experienced that sensation. I was glad I had chosen the VBAC route and I knew I had “finished my marathon” but there definitely was not a euphoric high for me. Just sayin’. Maybe that will help someone else know it’s okay if they don’t get that sensation either.

Seconds after birth - Real life.

Seconds after birth - Smile!

I had my first moments with Kaden and Karl was proud daddy once again! He was born at 5:38 p.m. and was 6 lbs., 8 oz. and 20 inches long. Karl was also able to clamp Kaden’s umbilical cord. As Nancy began her afterbirth exam, she unfortunately found that because of the intense pushing I had to do to get Kaden out, I had a fourth degree tear. Yup. Go big or go home. For those that don’t know, that’s the “best” you can do. A one degree tear is blip on the radar compared to a fourth. Nancy can stitch up a first or second degree tear but with a third or fourth degree, it’s best to have a surgeon sew you up. Soooo, no idyllic sweet moments for us at the birth center with Kaden after he was born. That is definitely my only “sad” part of Kaden’s birth experience. Obviously, it was important to get me to the hospital to begin the stitching process yet it caused a flurry of timing that didn’t leave much to take in the moments. Nancy cleaned me up. Her assistants (I think! Or maybe, Nicole?!) cleaned up and clothed Kaden. And 30 minutes after birth, Karl was putting Kaden into his carseat for his first car ride :) Hahaha. Still cracks me up for some reason and I’ll never forget how cute he looked ready for his first ride!

“Ready for the carseat, dad!”

I was a bit light headed after the blood loss, not much food, all the effort of labor...you know, my marathon! Karl picked me up and put me in the car and drove us to the hospital. A great feature of our birth center is that it’s only three blocks from the hospital. Nancy and Nicole both drove their separate vehicles. I was checked in and longer story short, sewed up by Dr. Trihn (she was great!). Karl will tell you I hummed my entire way through that sewing job. I did. It’s how I coped with the pain and mental thought of it all. (Sidenote: A cup of warmed up prune juice with two tablespoons melted butter in it works like a charm to help the system move freely! I didn’t think the taste was too bad. I may or may not have called it my “hot toddy.”)

At Gritman Medical Center ready to be sewn up.

We stayed overnight so they could monitor me. Lukas was able to visit the next morning with Momo and Bobo (Karl’s parents). We were discharged that afternoon. I laid low for three weeks resting and recovering. It’s one of the best things a new mama can do after birth, I believe! I set up help with friends during the day for Lukas so that Karl’s mom wasn’t doing it all herself.

Meeting older brother Lukas for the first time!

Our friends Vince & Randi McIntryre were also visiting

when Momo brought Lukas in to see us.

The name Kaden means “companion” and we pray he will be a great companion who reflects God’s friendship towards us.  Using “Karl” as his middle name is tradition on Karl’s side to use the father’s name as the middle name for the second son, if there is one.

We love you, Kaden Karl! Happy 1st Birthday! We are blessed and humbled to be your parents and looking forward to how God shapes and uses you.

Lukas’ Birth Story

October 2014

It feels like yesterday I was hearing the words, “There is heavy debris in your amniotic fluid.” Crazy that it was one year ago! It was Monday morning, October 21, 2013. We were two weeks shy of being full-term. This was a miracle in my book since my body had begun contractions at 32 weeks and I’d been laying low since then so as not to encourage an early labor. But nonetheless, those words were still surreal. Walking into this ultrasound appointment, I felt as if something were going to trigger this little guy to be on his way. Here it was.

Since we were 38 weeks, my doctor told me that she would rather deal with him on the outside than leave him in for two more weeks since we couldn’t confirm what that “heavy debris” entailed. As they hooked me up at the doctor’s office to monitor the baby and to call the hospital to schedule an induction, I called Karl to tell him to get ready! His son was on the way one way or the other!

We learned the hospital was quite busy that day so the next morning was going to be our entrance into labor. There was nothing about induction that encouraged me. I called my doula, Nicole, and she had us stop by her home in order to stretch me and put me in some positions that encourage labor. I called for an acupuncture appointment only to learn they were closed for the day. Bummer. Karl and I walked and walked. We….well, I….ate the spiciest Thai dish I could handle. Karl enjoyed a Thai dinner with me...just not spicy. Not. A. Movement. This little guy was quite cozy.

Spicy Thai dish at Phikun’s!

In the midst of the all the attempts, Karl and I tried to wrap our minds around the fact that soon we were to be three. At dinner, he gave me a necklace that is in the shape of an ‘O’ for Olsen with a small diamond in the middle that would represent our kids. He told me he thought of it as our kids would always be close to my heart. Yes, I cried. We’ve since had the idea that we’ll be adding the birthstone of each child to it as they arrive in our world.

Karl also told me I was to get a pedicure. He can be a bit demanding sometimes. I had actually never understood why women would get pedicures before the birth of their child. Now, I’m sold! Those pretty toes always brought a smile to my face the days following labor and delivery!

A Bright & Cheery Red :)

Next was the attempt at sleep. We made sure we were ready to go as we had to be at the hospital at 7:00 a.m. I think Karl slept just fine of course. I was on and off throughout the night. I’d feel Lukas move around and get teary thinking I wouldn’t feel him like that anymore. And then I’d get teary thinking of just of soon I'd be holding him. I knew sleep and rest was best for what was ahead so in between all the movements, hopes that maybe I felt a contraction, and the teariness, I slept.

Arriving at the hospital the next morning was wild. Was this really happening?! I was most definitely nervous at the thought of being induced. Most of what I had heard and read was about the quickness with which contractions and labor can begin. I’d been praying a lot that somehow things would be okay.

By 7:30 a.m., I was hooked up and ready to go. The drip of pitocin began. God is gracious. My body was very, very slow to respond. We walked the birth center. We rested. My back-up doula and awesome pre-natal yoga instructor, Kristine, arrived and we hung out, kept walking and chatted about her pregnancy & possible names while enjoying the beautiful autumn day out the large windows. I know I also kept saying I wanted to get out of the “smiling” phase. Meaning, I knew things really hadn’t started and once I wasn’t smiling anymore, things would be “gettin’ real!” We waited. Not only for my body to respond to the pitocin, but also for Nicole, my primary doula. She was down in Lewiston, which is 45-60 minutes away, at another birth.

I remember ordering lunch and enjoying what I could while also feeling and knowing my body was picking things up with the contractions. Nicole arrived at the hospital with an hour of sleep and a shower. She is a gem! Literally, she was in the room five minutes, when it was as if my body knew she was there and we could really begin things. I remember saying, “Oh, that was really intense” and pushing the food tray away and doubling over in bed while breathing really slow. After hugs with Kristine and expressing how grateful I was to have her with us, she headed out letting us know that if we needed anything, to let her know. I will never do a birth again without my doula’s. What a support team for Karl and I!!

Kristine, left; Nicole, right

As Kristine left, everything gets blurry and time was irrelevant. I do know it was around 3:30 in the afternoon when active labor really began. For most of labor, I had my eyes closed concentrating on what the moment needed. We labored around the bed for awhile. Then we went to the jetted tub. The awesome-ness of Pullman Birth Center is that everything you need is in your room. Unless you want to walk the halls of course. A nurse wrapped my arm with all the cords attached and into the tub I went. I have no idea how long I labored there. I do know  “the moment” when I said, “Guys, I don’t know if I can do this,” that happened in that tub.

My hope for our birth was to do it as naturally as possible. I’d heard and knew enough to have a very open hand to possibilities and things taking a very different course. With all the reading and preparation I’d done with birth classes and meeting with Nicole, that moment was significant to me. I knew I could push through with breathing and “riding the waves” in my mind and being in the moment. Somehow the “not sure I can do it” moment passed and we kept going. I knew the pain was purposeful and was bringing Lukas to us.

At some point, I got out of the tub and we kept laboring on the bed. I have no idea where in the process this happened but I remember a moment when Karl was eating or something and Nicole was a bit away from the bed and I called her over and asked her to hold my hand. Something about having her hold my hand was what I needed to be reassured that I could do this and to keep going. It helped.

As we labored, my hip pain was the absolute worst during contractions. I’d say, “here comes another,” and either Karl or Nicole had to apply hip pressure through the contraction. Talk about a workout for them!  

Karl took all the photos...he really helped a lot too :D

Pushing. I know I pushed for two and half hours. Backing things up a bit, I’d guess I started pushing around 9:30 p.m. Six hours after active labor began. During the pushing phase, Nicole had me in every possible position known to birthing moms. She’d tell me we were going to try something else and, in my mind, I’d cry out to myself not knowing how I was going to get to that position it hurt so bad to move. Nonetheless, I used every ounce of strength and determination to get into that position before the next contraction hit.

Finally, I knew I was wearing down. I. Was. Exhausted. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could go. About that time, Dr. Kim Guidea, my primary care doctor, came over and told me that I’d been pushing for 2.5 hours. She said that Lukas had advanced the first hour but hadn’t done anything for the last hour and a half. That was it. I knew I was done. She said she would encourage a C-section. I was all for it. I knew that every ounce of me had fought and given 110% for a natural birth. I was proud of what I’d done. I was grateful for my body and for the experience. I wanted Lukas to be safe and out. For sensitive readers, don’t finish this paragraph but the following is important to me and something I want to remember. My delivery nurse, Diana, told me later that she knew I was giving all I had with every push because I was pooping with each one. Ha! “Yea, that’s right, you better believe it!”, I thought to myself. Proud of my effort mom moment. Not gonna lie!

They began prepping us for a C-section. Signing papers. That’s hard while you’re still feeling the need to push and riding the waves of contractions. Just trust me! I know Karl and Nicole had to keep me focused on breathing and “pushing” through the pain throughout this process. Not literally at this point...even though that’s super tough not to do with the urge to push that contractions bring!

We were wheeled down the hallways to the operating room. Nicole had to leave us at this point as they would only let Karl through the doors. Cory, my anesthesiologist, gave us some instructions while the nurses and doctors moved and prepped me onto the operating table. Finally, I felt no more pain. Soon, I heard a cry. Wednesday, October 23 at 12:26 a.m. That makes me tear up just thinking about it. Karl left me to be with Lukas, which is what we had decided. Cory was still with me. I asked him to hold my hand. Something about hand holding is obviously very reassuring to me!

After a bit, Karl was able to bring Lukas over to me. What a moment. All those nine months. All that labor. Surgery with a C-section. Every moment worth it. Here he was looking at me. His mama.

They took him away with Karl to do whatever they needed for him. And by the way, that heavy debris that began this process? It ended up that he just had a lot of vernix (a layer that coats the skin of newborn babies) on him that was clumping in the amniotic fluid! Thus, he was perfectly fine. They took me to the recovery room. Nicole came in to see me. She had seen Lukas with Karl and the nurses. They brought Lukas back to me and finally we were able to go back to our room.

In the recovery room

We ended up staying in the hospital until Saturday. We saw no point in leaving until we had to - ha! Nurses around the clock, room service, daily massage for me, tv. We told the nurses they could rent out rooms as vacation get-aways while they were empty to earn extra money. Haha! Speaking of the nurses, we loved, loved, loved our most consistent ones - Kaleb & Katie stand out the most.

In our room during our hospital stay

Lukas ended up having trouble nursing which was my emotional roller coaster more than anything during postpartum. That’s a story in and of itself. Well, that and he wasn’t the greatest sleeper...not horrible, just took 11 months and 2 weeks to sleep through the night ;) Overall, he was here and we were a family of three. Now, he is one year old. The sweetest personality. The best smile. The bluest eyes that take after his dad. And a laugh that you can’t help but laugh with him. We love him dearly.

We chose the name Lukas because of its meaning “light.” Our prayer for him is that he would be a light that reflects Jesus’ love to those around him. His middle name Edward is one that both his great-grandfathers (Karl’s dad’s dad & my dad’s dad) had as well as the middle name of both of his uncles (Karl’s brother Erik & my brother Ryan).

Happy 1st Birthday, Lukas Edward! We are so thankful God gave us the gift of you!

Father's Day

Yesterday was Father's Day. We took a walk for coffee, watched multiple World Cup soccer games as Karl worked on sorting our digital photos, picked up stuffed crust pizza for an early lunch, had an early dinner with Karl's parents, and went to church. Overall, a very good day.

As we were in church, something triggered a realization for me. My heart had been totally focused on Karl. How to enjoy him, how to serve him, care for him, love him...all because it was "his" day. It made me realize that every day should be "Father's Day." There is no way I can cultivate that heart by myself.

I want my heart and mindset each day to be what Paul refers to as having the mindset of Jesus in Philippians 2:3-4, 7: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others...he [Jesus] made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant..."

I'm not perfect. Marriage has proven that! I won't remember this all the time. There will be days that are entirely mundane and others that are chaos. Only by God's grace and help from the Holy Spirit will I begin to change and be transformed to have more of this type of heart and mindset. One day at a time.

"Today is Father's Day."

It's the Home Stretch, Son!

16 Weeks 5/19/13
Dad's belly!

20.5 Weeks 6/18/13
Low back pain for dad

30 Weeks 8/24/13
Dad has hit 3rd trimester sleepies....

We're 30 weeks, you and I. We're on the home stretch! I can't wait to meet you! But stay in there a little longer...it's not quite time for our face to face greeting :)

There are so many things to wonder....will you have the abundance of hair like your cousins were born with, and if so, will it be blond or brown? Will you be more like your dad or me or a combo of us both? What sort of things will you gravitate towards and be interested in? How 'bout those eyes...blue or brown?

For the most part, your growth in my belly has been quite normal from what I gather and hear of pregnancy. We were "carsick" the first 15-16 weeks and it definitely was not a "light switch" moment of when I began feeling better! We would start the morning fairly well with only mild blahs and progress into the "Mmm, I can't do anything except lay here, feel queasy and do the basic necessities for the day." We enjoyed cheerios...a lot. Your Nani's recipe for homemade refried beans that I made bean and cheese burritos with were also my go-to comfort food. Only over the course of those 15th and 16th weeks did things calm down and I was able to eat more normal. 

We did have two "cravings" if you will. Your dad and I were walking home from church one Sunday and I smelled french fries. There was no turning my mind off from having some. We got home and drove to our favorite fry place in Pullman - South Fork...long, skinny fries with seasoning and when they come out pipping hot....oh man. I might have to go get a basket now. 

The other item I couldn't get out of my head on a Saturday was pizza. And not just any pizza. I needed...wanted....Pizza Hut's stuffed crust pizza. You dad had no problem taking me :) We both enjoyed every bite. I hope you did too! 

Wildly enough, sweets have not been very tempting. I'll be curious if you're like your Uncle Ry in that department and not care for them very much. Ah, and finally, cold water with ice has been my dear friend throughout. I've always liked and preferred water but we guzzle it and something about the cold and ice is delicious to me!

You've been very active. I've begun to think of my belly as "the wrestling mat" or "the boxing ring" - you're either wrestling or practicing your boxing jabs in preparation for playing and duking it out with your dad. I'm really not sure who's going to have the upper hand...you're quite strong! 

The best part of all this is realizing that I am doing nothing. I eat...you make sure of that. And I sleep...you also help with that. Unless, you're wrestling or boxing and then it takes some time to fall asleep. But really, you are a miracle that God is creating and knitting together inside me....in the shape of you - our son. We are fully aware that you are ultimately His son. I already know that I'll continually learn to hold you with an open hand trusting Him with you. I can rest in Jesus' unconditional love and care for you - whether that looks like joyous times or trials. 

It will be one big adventure that's for sure! We're looking forward to walking it with you. We love you, son. Looking forward to our first face to face with you...

Mom 

Moving Pieces

The New Olsen Home

It even has a small porch for the 

swing Karl made and proposed to me on!

One of the reasons we sporadically update our blog is to tell the story of what God is doing as an avenue of reminding ourselves of His faithfulness, His timing, etc. We want our family to be able to look back and see God's fingerprints. Speaking of His fingerprints, I'm not sure I can say I've had many moments of literally feeling like you are sitting on the sidelines watching Him move pieces into place but that's exactly what these particular circumstances have felt like.

If you know us well, we always have our eyes on the housing market. Is there another good investment that can be used for community, supporting people, and creating income for the later years?? Back in January, we learned some friends, Jeff and Bri, had posted their home on Craigslist since they weren't in any rush to sell and were curious if they could do it on their own. We really like their place so we prayed and thought about it and then let them know we were interested yet did not want this to come between a friendship. We let that thought simmer awhile....

In the meantime, I received a facebook note from a friend, Erin, at church getting married this summer asking if we had any two bedroom places. Unfortunately, I had to respond that we did not. It was a good situation - an "Ugggh! This is exactly why we'd love more places!" And thus....we kept waiting and praying for God's will in whether we were to proceed on Jeff & Bri's home. 

As we were waiting, our friends, Derek and Jessie, that live in the bottom unit of our duplex, found a home they decided they wanted to try to purchase. This meant there could be a possibility of a "two bedroom" home for Erin and her fiance, Eric! Derek and Jessie put an offer on the home and accepted a counter-offer, which made it very possible to offer the bottom unit to Erin and Eric.

As these events unfolded, it had been about three weeks so we decide to follow up with Jeff and Bri and what they thought of our offer. Karl caught Jeff as he was headed out over the lunch hour and Jeff said they'd been thinking about it and were going to go look at a place over lunch and that he'd be in touch. Later that afternoon, Karl received a phone call from Jeff letting us know they really liked the house they saw and wondered how interested we were about their current home. We. Were. Very Interested!

In a matter of 48 hours, we sat down, talked details, Jeff and Bri's offer on the house they liked was countered and they accepted, and we were all moving forward!

I then had to break the news to Erin that we would be moving. We had all been excited about living in the same place over the next year! Little did I know that the night before I told her the news, she received a text from another friend, Jessica, asking if they would be interested in renting a house together the next year - two married couples living in one home - talk about community, huh! (Note: In our university town, this idea would have been cost effective for both couples and they could have gotten a better place to live!) 

When I told her the news that we'd be moving, she had a slight smile on her face....and she proceeded to tell me about the text and how Jessica and her husband, Jacob, were looking for a place as well. "You're kidding me?!", I said. I had to shake my head in amazement because as God provided a home for Derek and Jessie to purchase, He provided Jeff and Bri a home they were interested in as well, which opened up an incredible next step home for us, which then opened up our duplex for Erin & Eric and Jessica & Jacob that both needed places for the following year.

Five couples. Four Homes. One Amazing Provider. I am awed every time I think about it.

We are all very excited for the homes we are moving into over the next several months and how we've seen God provide what was needed for each couple!

Date Night: From a Hat!

Fall is a busy time for us and we've realized we need to be more intentional with spending time together...not just doing projects! Last week, Karl told me Friday night was all mine. Whatever I wanted to do, we would do. "There are so many options!" I thought to myself. "How am I ever going to decide?!"

As I met with a gal for coffee during the week, she off-handily mentioned something happening Friday night. "Ah-ah! That sounds like fun!" The more I thought about that idea the more ideas I had! I was having a hard time deciding what one or two things we would do. Thus, "Date Night: From a Hat" was born! Why not put a bunch of ideas in a hat, pull one out, do as it says, and keep pulling slips out which will create our date night?! Brillant. I was quite excited with this idea! With how much Karl loves spontaneity and flexibility, I thought this would be a winner! And it was. He enjoyed the random-ness and we enjoyed having fun together. Here's how it all went down:

I created one rule for the game: he could have two passes. If he pulled a slip and didn't care for the idea, he could pass. I did this because I put two fix-it projects in the hat that I thought would be fun to work on together but that didn't need to happen asap. I wanted to give him an out if he wasn't up to a fix-it project. (Note: he does like working on projects with people. This was not a ploy for me to get something done! :)

Unbeknownst to Karl, he created another rule to the game later in the evening, which I'll share later. I also learned it's good to hold with an open hand the things you as the creator would love to do! Both of the things I thought would be really fun, never actually happend. BUT we had a great night. And things I thought he'd pass on, we actually did. Here's what ended up happening....

The first slip Karl pulled was the goofy, all-to-do-with-fun slip: "Go to Sunnyside Park, twirl on the merry-go-round, and toss the frisbee around for a bit." Instead of jumping on it, he asked if there were any projects I'd like to do around the house. HUH? I may have given him the "you're crazy" look.

After a few moments of "Huh?" and "Uh...why are you asking that," I finally realized I had made a party foul. I hadn't explained the game well enough! He didn't understand that the park idea was only ONE of the ideas for the night! We could keep pulling slips and do all sorts of things!! He thought that slip was the only one he got to pull for the night. It would be another fun way to decide date night, but not this night!

After I re-explained he was going to be able to keep pulling slips throughout the night, he got it! Super! Then he asked, again, if there was a project I wanted to do. The sweet thing is that he said he knows how patient I've been with his busyness and if there was a project I wanted to work on. I told him I had put a few options in the hat but that is why I also gave him the passes: I thought they'd be fun to work on together but if he wasn't up to it, I wanted it to be okay for him to say no as well! It ended up that we didn't go to the park (one of the ideas I was really excited about ;) and instead we ....

1) Put up bike hooks for our bikes:

 Yes, I am really using the drill. I'm trying to learn tool things from my master husband :)

TA-DA!!

2) Finished patching the hot tub cover at the girl's house (what we call the house we rent to girls...creative, I know).

Yay for my handy husband!! (I tried the first time & didn't do so well :/ )

We returned home and the next slip he pulled was "Kiss your hot wife." Needless to say, he did.

Next, he pulled the bike rack and hot tub cover slips out of the hat...check and check. He said he was hungry so we had dinner. I had planned ahead. Leftovers!! Sometimes a fun date night is making a fancy meal you know your hubby will enjoy and why not top it off with some candles, I say! WELL....that's not what this night was about. It was geared more towards easy and simple! And let's be even more real, something that I didn't have to work very hard to do! For this date night, I didn't want to do my normal cook and clean routine. I wanted easy-peasy. I'm thankful my hubbs enjoys leftovers! Mmmm...Peanut Noodles with Shredded Chicken and Vegetables and homemade spicy hummus with green bell peppers!

Leftovers: Easy-peasy!

After dinner, he took out the slip that read, "Go to the Dollar Store and buy fun party hats." The following evening we had a birthday party to attend that was going to be a dress-up-in-your-fancy-clothes dinner and dessert evening. Earlier that day, before I came up with the date night idea, we had talked about spicing things up and getting fun party hats to go with our fancy clothes. So...we did:

Bummer on the fuzziness - Awesome on the hats.

After our adventure in the Dollar Store, Karl said he'd like to get a movie. THAT is where the second rule of the game was created. Rule 2: The person pulling slips gets to create his or her own slip at any point during the date. We picked up Sherlock Holmes from a nearby Redbox and went home.

We enjoyed the first half...and then found ourselves getting very sleepy....we called it a night. It was a great date night. The other slip I was excited about never did get pulled out....so it will be saved for another "Date Night: From a Hat!"

It looks like the hat might become quite full as I keep thinking of ideas! I've also had a good idea given to me by my pops....ask him what he'd like to do as well (uh, duh...you'd think I would have thought of that :) Done & done! I think we've found a tradition for the Olsen Clan. It'll be fun to do with kids one day too!

Date Night: From a Hat

Think of a bunch of ideas and gather some from the receiver(s) as well!
Write each on a slip of paper and fold it up.
Put in a hat. Or a bucket. Or a shoe. You get the idea.

Two passes can be taken by the person(s) pulling the slips out if he or she isn't up for the idea.
One pass can be created-on-the-go by the person(s) pulling the slips

Game can be played two ways:
- Pull one idea out and that is the event for the day/evening
- Pull one idea out, do it, pull another slip, and keep going until tired or all businesses are shut down and you need to go home and start again tomorrow.

Game can be modified to fit all sorts of people, groups, families, and/or pets. The only requirement is to hang out and have fun.

Enjoy!

Jesus Knows.

Today is a rough day. Since I last wrote, it's been the unique emotional toll of being surrounded with the celebration of life, babies, progress reports on pregnancies, etc. Rejoice with those who rejoice! It is good. It is fun to see! There is an unspoken ache in me as well. I know deep down it's okay. It's okay to feel pain when others are rejoicing. It's apart of this life. Yet....how do I deal with and process this pain?

I awoke around midnight with an ache in my heart. It took me awhile to really feel it. I knew it was there yet wasn't quite articulating or even acknowledging why it was there. When I allowed myself to really feel it, the pain came and so did the tears. Today is the day we were supposed to hear a heartbeat.

Karl obviously woke up and asked if I was okay. After hearing why I was crying, he pulled me close and held me. No words were necessary. He prayed that we would know how to mourn well. I know he prayed a few other things but that's what I remember. And I believe God began to answer that prayer.

As I lay there trying to go back to sleep, my heart and mind turned instead to how Jesus felt. How does God know what I am going through? I realize more what it must have been like for God to send His Son, Jesus, to earth...to be separated from Him when they had a perfect relationship. Ug. That'd be hard. I'd imagine that was a unique separation.

Yet, as Jesus was on earth, He spent time in prayer with God the Father. There was still a relationship that existed between them. It wasn't until Jesus began claiming He was God and both the Jews and Romans wouldn't stand for that claim and in the end crucified Him on the cross that separation occurred. That....that is where I know God knows what I am going through. It seems so minor in comparison. Yet, I know it's okay for me to feel the pain. God knows what it feels like to be separated from someone you love.

We don't know if there was conception yet there was still a life in our hearts that was growing and developing. God knows what it feels like to be in pain from separation. I began to think about Jesus and how He also knows and experienced pain. I began thinking about the passage in the Bible about how He wept when His friend Lazarus died. I looked up the passage (John 11) and noticed something I'd never seen before in verses 33-35. It says, "When Jesus saw her (Mary) weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, Where have you laid him?' They said to him, 'Lord, come and see.' Jesus wept."

It stuck out to me that when he saw Mary and the Jews weeping, he was deeply moved. I know there are probably a lot of theological concepts that can be pulled out of this passage, and some are rumbling around in mind as I type, but what really impacts me is the simplicity that Jesus was deeply moved when he saw their weeping. He was deeply moved. HE was deeply moved. He was DEEPLY moved. He was deeply MOVED. That means a lot. He experienced the pain and hurt in their loss.

He feels my pain. He knows my hurt.

The other passages that came to mind weren't really specific....I mainly thought about the compassion Jesus felt. I did a search for compassion in biblegateway.com and here are a few that stood out to me....

Mark 6:30-34
The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.”For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they ran there on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them. When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. And he began to teach them many things.

Matthew 9:35-38
And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.  Then he said to his disciples,“The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

- The fact that Jesus can see a crowd and have compassion on them because they are like sheep without a shepherd is amazing to me. He sees within the crowd and knows that just like when sheep do not have a shepherd all sorts of wandering, confusion, pain, suffering, etc., occurs the same happens with people. With Jesus, I am gaining a perspective on my pain and suffering. I don't have to wander through it alone. He is my shepherd - guiding me through it. 

Luke 7:11-13a
Soon afterward he went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a great crowd went with him. As he drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow, and a considerable crowd from the town was with her. And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her...

- Jesus had compassion on this woman who had lost her son. It goes on to say that Jesus heals her son and brings him back to life and gives him back to his mother...crazy and amazing all on its own. For now, I rest in the fact that Jesus had compassion on her in her sadness and loss. 

Even in just writing that, I am reminded that Jesus always brings life. He obviously won't be in bringing life out of the tissue that my body was storing and has since passed BUT He will bring life out of this pain in other ways. 

As I type up these thoughts and look at God being separated from Jesus - what that must have been like - and then at Jesus' life - how He experienced pain and suffering and had compassion on so many - my heart is comforted and reminded that although there is pain and suffering, God hurts with me and with many others. He knows it's not how it's meant to be. He knows one day He will restore all things. 

Until then, He knows my pain and He knows your pain. I'm so thankful that He's not a stone god or just a man claiming to have a vision or word from God that others should follow him but The One who has experienced separation, pain and suffering, and has compassion and is able to bring life out of death. That is the good news of Jesus. 

Even though we won't hear a heartbeat today, my heart is being comforted as I look to Jesus, experience my pain, and realize that He understands what I am going through.