I do enjoy shoes. I'm not a fanatic as I know some to be. I enjoy being simple. I don't need a lot. I've kept most shoes until they're well-used or aren't comfortable anymore. I'm way too practical to "just buy shoes" and any pair that I do have, I've needed for something - be it fancy or day-to-day or exercise or travel or hiking...that pretty much sums up my shoe wardrobe. I definitely re-use shoes too! I don't need another fancy pair when the pair I have will work just fine!
I try to be sensible in the amount of money I will pay for shoes yet at the same time have learned quality is important! I do resist the urge and use self-control when that ever-so-cute or adorable pair of shoes comes across my path (pun intended!) but I don't need it. Let's be real - that's not to say that I don't look at them and enjoy them for a moment and think of all the fun ways I would wear them out and about! But back to reality....I put my realistic hat on and think of what else the money could be used for - or what it is I/we actually need. "Want verses need" is a good shopping partner!
Enough about my shoe shopping tendencies.....because they have ALL changed. Ever heard of bunions? I'd heard of them....kind of. They're things on your feet. Right? Yes. I can now answer in the affirmative. Let me show you....
The way I see them.
The way you would see them.
No, bunions are not all the veins popping out or the short, pudginess of my feet. See the nubs sticking out of my feet below the big toe? It's easier to see on the left foot in the above picture (which is really my right foot!). If you google "bunions," you'll get much, Much, MUCH worse looking images. I'm really thankful for the stage my bunions are at.You'll read all sorts of things and get all sorts of answers I've learned about whether bunions are caused by heredity or the type of shoes you wear (read: scrunch your feet into narrow shoes). Then I was given this definition from the second podiatrist I saw: "Bunions are a progressive disorder. They begin with a leaning of the big toe, gradually changing the angle of the bones over the years and slowly producing the characteristic bump, which becomes increasingly prominent....Bunions are most often caused by an inherited faulty mechanical structure of the foot. It is not the bunion itself that is inherited, but certain foot types that make a person prone to developing a bunion" (American College of Foot and Ankle Surgeons). Hmmmm....I have that "certain foot type" and as far as the "inherited" piece, I learned that my great-grandmother Lucy on my mother's side had bunions - a much worse case than mine.
My bunions literally seemed to "pop" out one day in early December. I'd been feeling some abnormal pain in some of my shoes but didn't think much of it. That happens every now and then. No big deal. The weird part as well was that as my mother-in-law had been telling me over the course of several months of the bone spurs in her feet, the pain they were causing and the physical therapy and different shoes she was needing, I thought off-handedly that maybe I was experiencing empathetic pain for her. Is there such a thing?! Maybe. But not in my case.
One morning I looked down and it was so remarkably shocking to see these pointy things coming off my feet! "Oh my gosh!" That was it. And then dumbfounded silence while I looked at my feet. "I can't deny my pain anymore. This is really real" is what went through my head as I blinked to make sure my feet were really staring back at me with "those pointy things."
The first podiatrist's response when he looked at my feet was, "Surgery is the only thing that will fix that." End. Of. Story. No thanks. Not the friendly doctor/patient relationship I was looking for. I felt like I was in the office being told "here are the drugs to help your diabetes." Meanwhile knowing that with the type of diabetes I had (no, I don't have diabetes...this just an example!) I could help it with diet and exercise! ARAH-ARG. I had to be my own doctor. I asked question after question to probe into further solutions and knew I was going for a second opinion!
The second podiatrist I saw was more conservative in his approach. He actually examined how I stand (imagine that!) and saw that I pronate (roll inward) and that I don't have much of an arch. He said orthotic inserts and "certain" types of shoes will help slow the progression of the bunions. He said in cases such as mine if patients want surgery they can ask him for it. Two things I'll be watching for - continuous pain that affects daily life and increased deformity. I remind myself that even though these "certain" types of shoes that will help with the pain may not be my-kind-of-cute, I'll be thankful for my feet and all they do without pain.
Thankful. There's that word again. Just like the warmth I am thankful for that I blogged about previously. I've taken my feet for granted. Have you? They do SO much for us....without me even thinking about it.
My feet. I'm thankful for the many, many years I had no pain and have worn all sorts of fun shoes!! Without even thinking about it. As a person with small feet, it's not an easy task to find shoes that fit me well, fit "my style," and look like a grown woman should wear them and not a little girl. And when I did find such shoes - WAHOO!! I loved them. I know love can be a strong word used for so many things in the English language but just go with me on this one - I loved my shoes because they always managed to come with a story with friends or family by my side that got to be apart of the fantastic moment when a pair of shoes actually fit well, felt comfortable, and "looked like me!" Silly I know. Yet, it's true. Shoes come with memories.
New memories will now be made! It's not lookin' pretty on the style side of things that my "new" feet are now requiring. I continue to hold out that I will find a brand that fits the wide toe space so that the bunions aren't continually being rubbed along with the type of sole for the pronation. As the hunt begins, I'm thankful....
