Date Night: From a Hat!

Fall is a busy time for us and we've realized we need to be more intentional with spending time together...not just doing projects! Last week, Karl told me Friday night was all mine. Whatever I wanted to do, we would do. "There are so many options!" I thought to myself. "How am I ever going to decide?!"

As I met with a gal for coffee during the week, she off-handily mentioned something happening Friday night. "Ah-ah! That sounds like fun!" The more I thought about that idea the more ideas I had! I was having a hard time deciding what one or two things we would do. Thus, "Date Night: From a Hat" was born! Why not put a bunch of ideas in a hat, pull one out, do as it says, and keep pulling slips out which will create our date night?! Brillant. I was quite excited with this idea! With how much Karl loves spontaneity and flexibility, I thought this would be a winner! And it was. He enjoyed the random-ness and we enjoyed having fun together. Here's how it all went down:

I created one rule for the game: he could have two passes. If he pulled a slip and didn't care for the idea, he could pass. I did this because I put two fix-it projects in the hat that I thought would be fun to work on together but that didn't need to happen asap. I wanted to give him an out if he wasn't up to a fix-it project. (Note: he does like working on projects with people. This was not a ploy for me to get something done! :)

Unbeknownst to Karl, he created another rule to the game later in the evening, which I'll share later. I also learned it's good to hold with an open hand the things you as the creator would love to do! Both of the things I thought would be really fun, never actually happend. BUT we had a great night. And things I thought he'd pass on, we actually did. Here's what ended up happening....

The first slip Karl pulled was the goofy, all-to-do-with-fun slip: "Go to Sunnyside Park, twirl on the merry-go-round, and toss the frisbee around for a bit." Instead of jumping on it, he asked if there were any projects I'd like to do around the house. HUH? I may have given him the "you're crazy" look.

After a few moments of "Huh?" and "Uh...why are you asking that," I finally realized I had made a party foul. I hadn't explained the game well enough! He didn't understand that the park idea was only ONE of the ideas for the night! We could keep pulling slips and do all sorts of things!! He thought that slip was the only one he got to pull for the night. It would be another fun way to decide date night, but not this night!

After I re-explained he was going to be able to keep pulling slips throughout the night, he got it! Super! Then he asked, again, if there was a project I wanted to do. The sweet thing is that he said he knows how patient I've been with his busyness and if there was a project I wanted to work on. I told him I had put a few options in the hat but that is why I also gave him the passes: I thought they'd be fun to work on together but if he wasn't up to it, I wanted it to be okay for him to say no as well! It ended up that we didn't go to the park (one of the ideas I was really excited about ;) and instead we ....

1) Put up bike hooks for our bikes:

 Yes, I am really using the drill. I'm trying to learn tool things from my master husband :)

TA-DA!!

2) Finished patching the hot tub cover at the girl's house (what we call the house we rent to girls...creative, I know).

Yay for my handy husband!! (I tried the first time & didn't do so well :/ )

We returned home and the next slip he pulled was "Kiss your hot wife." Needless to say, he did.

Next, he pulled the bike rack and hot tub cover slips out of the hat...check and check. He said he was hungry so we had dinner. I had planned ahead. Leftovers!! Sometimes a fun date night is making a fancy meal you know your hubby will enjoy and why not top it off with some candles, I say! WELL....that's not what this night was about. It was geared more towards easy and simple! And let's be even more real, something that I didn't have to work very hard to do! For this date night, I didn't want to do my normal cook and clean routine. I wanted easy-peasy. I'm thankful my hubbs enjoys leftovers! Mmmm...Peanut Noodles with Shredded Chicken and Vegetables and homemade spicy hummus with green bell peppers!

Leftovers: Easy-peasy!

After dinner, he took out the slip that read, "Go to the Dollar Store and buy fun party hats." The following evening we had a birthday party to attend that was going to be a dress-up-in-your-fancy-clothes dinner and dessert evening. Earlier that day, before I came up with the date night idea, we had talked about spicing things up and getting fun party hats to go with our fancy clothes. So...we did:

Bummer on the fuzziness - Awesome on the hats.

After our adventure in the Dollar Store, Karl said he'd like to get a movie. THAT is where the second rule of the game was created. Rule 2: The person pulling slips gets to create his or her own slip at any point during the date. We picked up Sherlock Holmes from a nearby Redbox and went home.

We enjoyed the first half...and then found ourselves getting very sleepy....we called it a night. It was a great date night. The other slip I was excited about never did get pulled out....so it will be saved for another "Date Night: From a Hat!"

It looks like the hat might become quite full as I keep thinking of ideas! I've also had a good idea given to me by my pops....ask him what he'd like to do as well (uh, duh...you'd think I would have thought of that :) Done & done! I think we've found a tradition for the Olsen Clan. It'll be fun to do with kids one day too!

Date Night: From a Hat

Think of a bunch of ideas and gather some from the receiver(s) as well!
Write each on a slip of paper and fold it up.
Put in a hat. Or a bucket. Or a shoe. You get the idea.

Two passes can be taken by the person(s) pulling the slips out if he or she isn't up for the idea.
One pass can be created-on-the-go by the person(s) pulling the slips

Game can be played two ways:
- Pull one idea out and that is the event for the day/evening
- Pull one idea out, do it, pull another slip, and keep going until tired or all businesses are shut down and you need to go home and start again tomorrow.

Game can be modified to fit all sorts of people, groups, families, and/or pets. The only requirement is to hang out and have fun.

Enjoy!

Jesus Knows.

Today is a rough day. Since I last wrote, it's been the unique emotional toll of being surrounded with the celebration of life, babies, progress reports on pregnancies, etc. Rejoice with those who rejoice! It is good. It is fun to see! There is an unspoken ache in me as well. I know deep down it's okay. It's okay to feel pain when others are rejoicing. It's apart of this life. Yet....how do I deal with and process this pain?

I awoke around midnight with an ache in my heart. It took me awhile to really feel it. I knew it was there yet wasn't quite articulating or even acknowledging why it was there. When I allowed myself to really feel it, the pain came and so did the tears. Today is the day we were supposed to hear a heartbeat.

Karl obviously woke up and asked if I was okay. After hearing why I was crying, he pulled me close and held me. No words were necessary. He prayed that we would know how to mourn well. I know he prayed a few other things but that's what I remember. And I believe God began to answer that prayer.

As I lay there trying to go back to sleep, my heart and mind turned instead to how Jesus felt. How does God know what I am going through? I realize more what it must have been like for God to send His Son, Jesus, to earth...to be separated from Him when they had a perfect relationship. Ug. That'd be hard. I'd imagine that was a unique separation.

Yet, as Jesus was on earth, He spent time in prayer with God the Father. There was still a relationship that existed between them. It wasn't until Jesus began claiming He was God and both the Jews and Romans wouldn't stand for that claim and in the end crucified Him on the cross that separation occurred. That....that is where I know God knows what I am going through. It seems so minor in comparison. Yet, I know it's okay for me to feel the pain. God knows what it feels like to be separated from someone you love.

We don't know if there was conception yet there was still a life in our hearts that was growing and developing. God knows what it feels like to be in pain from separation. I began to think about Jesus and how He also knows and experienced pain. I began thinking about the passage in the Bible about how He wept when His friend Lazarus died. I looked up the passage (John 11) and noticed something I'd never seen before in verses 33-35. It says, "When Jesus saw her (Mary) weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, Where have you laid him?' They said to him, 'Lord, come and see.' Jesus wept."

It stuck out to me that when he saw Mary and the Jews weeping, he was deeply moved. I know there are probably a lot of theological concepts that can be pulled out of this passage, and some are rumbling around in mind as I type, but what really impacts me is the simplicity that Jesus was deeply moved when he saw their weeping. He was deeply moved. HE was deeply moved. He was DEEPLY moved. He was deeply MOVED. That means a lot. He experienced the pain and hurt in their loss.

He feels my pain. He knows my hurt.

The other passages that came to mind weren't really specific....I mainly thought about the compassion Jesus felt. I did a search for compassion in biblegateway.com and here are a few that stood out to me....

Mark 6:30-34
The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.”For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they ran there on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them. When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. And he began to teach them many things.

Matthew 9:35-38
And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.  Then he said to his disciples,“The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

- The fact that Jesus can see a crowd and have compassion on them because they are like sheep without a shepherd is amazing to me. He sees within the crowd and knows that just like when sheep do not have a shepherd all sorts of wandering, confusion, pain, suffering, etc., occurs the same happens with people. With Jesus, I am gaining a perspective on my pain and suffering. I don't have to wander through it alone. He is my shepherd - guiding me through it. 

Luke 7:11-13a
Soon afterward he went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a great crowd went with him. As he drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow, and a considerable crowd from the town was with her. And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her...

- Jesus had compassion on this woman who had lost her son. It goes on to say that Jesus heals her son and brings him back to life and gives him back to his mother...crazy and amazing all on its own. For now, I rest in the fact that Jesus had compassion on her in her sadness and loss. 

Even in just writing that, I am reminded that Jesus always brings life. He obviously won't be in bringing life out of the tissue that my body was storing and has since passed BUT He will bring life out of this pain in other ways. 

As I type up these thoughts and look at God being separated from Jesus - what that must have been like - and then at Jesus' life - how He experienced pain and suffering and had compassion on so many - my heart is comforted and reminded that although there is pain and suffering, God hurts with me and with many others. He knows it's not how it's meant to be. He knows one day He will restore all things. 

Until then, He knows my pain and He knows your pain. I'm so thankful that He's not a stone god or just a man claiming to have a vision or word from God that others should follow him but The One who has experienced separation, pain and suffering, and has compassion and is able to bring life out of death. That is the good news of Jesus. 

Even though we won't hear a heartbeat today, my heart is being comforted as I look to Jesus, experience my pain, and realize that He understands what I am going through.

A Part of Our Story: Miscarriage

I continue to realize this is true. It definitely seems surreal. As if it's not really a part of our story. Yet, it is. Did that really just all go down last week?! Let me back up. This is the first time most of you are finding out we were even pregnant.

On July 5, we had our first positive reading of a pregnancy test. In Walmart, no less :) Epic surroundings for sure. We were visiting my grandma at the ranch in Potter Valley, CA, as well as my parents and sister and brother-in-law along with their two cutie-patooties of little boys. Karl and I went into town to grab much needed wasp killer for those crazy creatures and their nests which were beginning to invade the eaves of my grandma's house. Karl thought my mom could go into town with me...until I gave him "the eyes" and then bent down to whisper, "I think I should take a test." He finally understood. Off we went.

Being the newbies to this pregnancy test thing, we definitely waited another week and took another one - this time from Target to mix things up a little. Positive again. Okay...okay, now we know that ya only need one of those positives to know its telling you the truth the first time.

We had fun telling my family and even more so since it coincided with our summer road trip visit to California and we were able to do it all in person. Except for my bro, of course, who was out training on a carrier in the South Pacific. We did catch him on the phone a few weeks later though and that was priceless :)

Coming back into Pullman, we were able to share the news with Karl's parents, who were apparently just waiting for this news. For Marsha, Karl's mom and a social butterfly, this "keeping quiet" business was going to be an Olympic sport. She was amazing. Lips were sealed even though we knew she was ready to explode as soon as we gave her the go ahead. "First week of September, mom, after we hear the heartbeat....that's when we'll let you loose!"

Last Saturday, August 18, was the first day of my twelfth week. It was also the day I started spotting. We weren't overly concerned since some spotting is common. By Monday morning, things had progressed enough that I called the doctor's office. An ultrasound was scheduled for the afternoon. During the ultrasound, a couple questions were asked that alerted us to the unmistakable news that something was definitely not right. We had to wait 24 hours until we saw the Doctor on Tuesday afternoon to understand fully what the news held.

Those first 24 hours before seeing the doctor held a lot of our grieving. We knew whatever the news was it included "no baby." I don't know how to describe it but for whatever reason I knew the one thing I could stand on was that God is good. Regardless of how this pregnancy was turing out, God is good.  That was my hope. That was where I knew I could go in my mind. It was Truth. It may seem weird that I can say "God is good" in the midst of knowing something is wrong with our pregnancy. Yet, I know God's character. I know He is grieving with me, with us. I know He is the God of all comfort. I've experienced His peace in the storms of life when I wasn't sure what was going on. I knew I could stand on Him again. I knew He'd hold me. I knew He would provide what I needed.

On Tuesday afternoon when we saw the doctor, we learned that there never had been a baby. Oh. Weird. I know. All the ultrasound showed was a lot of tissue but no fetal pole and no heartbeat. (For those like me that are just now hearing these terms and need a definition - this is from About.com = Fetal pole, a thick spot near the yolk sac, is the term used for the earliest signs of a baby in an early pregnancy ultrasound -- before the baby has formed a recognizable human shape. With a transvaginal ultrasound, the fetal pole becomes visible around 6 weeks of gestation.)

So.....there had actually never been a baby. That is so weird. I'd never heard of this possibility. Now I was. The egg and sperm that had implanted never developed yet gave all the hormones of pregnancy...and all the symptoms. Boy, had I been tired these past few months!! And Karl thought I had a small bladder before pregnancy?! (I'm not sure how that works since there wasn't a baby taking up room but I was definitely going the bathroom more!) It's been a little bit weird to think that what we thought was real...never actually was. I almost feel a little psycho. For two months, I had to remind myself I was pregnant, "you're pregnant...that's so crazy! I can't believe we're actually pregnant!" Now I'm having to tell myself, "No, you never actually were pregnant." See what I'm saying...a little psycho.

Regardless of that, there is still grieving. For two months we had been excited about parenthood, excited to give my parents another grandchild and Karl's their first, excited to make siblings aunts and uncles, excited for the things to come. All in time, God will provide what we need. All the time, God is good. Even though this has been a "rollar coaster" week as one friend put it, God has been near. In the friends He's brought alongside us, in the peace He's given both Karl and I, and in the family that has supported and cared for us.

To wrap things up, we weren't sure how my body was going to need to be dealt with - would it naturally shed all the tissue on its own in a miscarriage or would it need a D&C (dilated and curettage [meaning they would need to dilate me and scrap the tissue out if my body didn't naturally do it])? I did my first blood test after the doctor's appointment to check my hormone levels. The second was scheduled for Thursday. If my hormone levels were going down, that was good. My body should naturally shed the tissue. If they were still going up, that would mean my body was still trying to develop something and a D&C would need to be performed. All of Wednesday with my hand on my tummy, I prayed, "In Jesus' Name, release this tissue naturally!"It might sound cheesy, but hey, it's what I did! I did not want a D&C.

At 5:00 pm on Wednesday, I was realizing it was go time. My goodness! Earlier I had told a friend, I thought I was cramping a bit. Yea...no, that wasn't cramping. By 6:15 pm, I really knew what the doctor had meant by cramping! I had already passed some things between 5:00 and 6:15 pm and for some reason didn't think it'd be much more so Karl and I had decided at 5:30 that he would go kick off the small group we were leading for church. I had been excited about this night but clearly my body and I were going to be doing something different. I told him if I felt better by 7:00 pm, I'd come over. HAhahahhah....oh, that's funny now.

At 6:20 pm, I sent him a text, "Honey, I need u!" The cramps had come on sooo much stronger! He turned things over to a friend of ours and was home not even 10 minutes later (I love small towns!). By 8:00 pm, I was feeling pretty shaky and a bit lightheaded with everything my body had shed. We played it safe and went to the ER. After vitals, blood work, a pelvic exam, and another ultrasound to check for fluids in case it was a tubal pregnancy, I was discharged with the strong warning that if I had more severe cramping and bleeding or a fever, I was to return. That meant a D&C would need to occur right away. Thankfully, that has not been the case.

Proof, even to myself, that I was in the ER!

Since yesterday (Thursday), I've been resting and recovering. My body seems to be shedding the rest of what the doctor saw in the ultrasound in the ER and I'm slowly beginning to feel my energy return. In two weeks, I'll have another blood test to check that the hormone levels are continuing to go down. If they're not, a D&C will still need to be performed to remove any remaining tissue.

I am so thankful for God's protection and care. For answered prayer that my body would release everything naturally. For the fact that Anna, a friend of Karl's mom and an excellent ER nurse, was on shift Thursday night when I went in - I almost cried when I saw her, a friendly face!   For friends, when they hear the news, pray for you, come hang out, or bring you dinner.

God is good. Life has its ups and downs. With sorrows that sometimes don't make sense. As Karl and I processed things on Thursday as we headed to a checkup with my doctor, we came to the conclusion that we feel content yet with an ache. And that's okay.

We trust that in God's timing, in God's mysterious ways that are much higher than ours, He will develop a family that is more than Karl and I. Who knows how that may develop. We'll have to wait and see. We do know that walking with Jesus through life's roller coaster provides peace that we'll never quite understand this side of heaven. For that, we're thankful that we can be content yet have an ache.

We still appreciate prayer for the continued processing we'll do, that my body will continue to shed whatever's remaining, and for my hormones to go down to where they need to be :) To God be the glory....great things He has done.

Dinner friends brought over...detailed down to the 

memorial candle & lighter and strawberry shortcake (not pictured).

We also decided it was a night for some Kimmel Vineyards 2010 Cabernet Sauvignon.

Our First Home

Karl knew at first sight. It took me "just one more" rental company showing to know we better JUMP QUICK on this cute little thing, even if it didn't have washer/dryer hookups! And how we've LOVED IT.

The proximity to downtown is fabulous! In two minutes flat, we can be at a coffee shop or restaurant. It sits on a corner so the round-about view with all the shades open draws in a lot of natural light - love! A few other little things that made it our first home....

These bathroom cupboards ROCKED! Tall and narrow - who knew! They fit all things bathroom and I never had to squint into dark recesses of a cupboard to see what was in the back. Brillant.

Built-In Closet. I really like you. Again, very easy to see what was what. No dark recesses for lost items to hide. Incredible storage cupboards above and drawers below. I organized to my heart's content.

This is a poor shot of the natural light that spilled into the place throughout the day yet it captures it for what I want to remember as our first home.

The built-in and arched doorways! Need I say more? Now the fireplace draft protection didn't really make the list. Had a wood stove insert been there instead....it would have ranked for sure.

It's not the latest model yet it is still a simple light under the kitchen cupboards. What is it about a soft glow that just makes things softer and not as intrusive? This light and the one above the sink were favs in the kitchen. Well, 1950's house, you made a memory that we are quite fond to call our first home.

You've provided a lot of fun and quirks - bathroom light switch in the hallway, anyone? Or, the fact that we could run laps in the house since the kitchen opened into the guest room which opened into the miniature hallway which led you to the living room and around through the dining room to the kitchen and around you could go...and go...and go.

We're on to our next adventure of the first home we've bought together. Papers will be signed soon-ish - hurrah!

Breakfast Boxes

I've been sick - the achy body, headache, chills kind of sick. It's moved into a cold and slowly but surely energy is returning.  At 11:00 a.m. on my first day back at work, I was tuckered out if that tells you anything! In the midst of this, Karl began teaching his first of two two-week summer classes. This first set is the most intensive as he's tweaking quite a bit of his curriculum. He's up at 5:00 a.m. and out the door by 6:00 a.m. Yes, I was definitely still sleeping at that hour to beat out the sickies!

Even though I'm sick, I want the best for my man! A tidbit of info about my hunk of a man is that he doesn't notice whether he's hungry most of time. How in the world did he survice without me in his life?! It's rare I don't notice when I'm hungry. In fact, it was a trait Karl was warned about :) 

I knew he'd be headed to the office early so I asked him the night before his first class if I could pack up some cereal and milk so he'd at least have something to take with him for the morning. "Nah!" he said, "I'm fine." I knew he really meant it even if I didn't like it very much. Being sick and without much energy, I took him at his word. I included an apple with the lunch I packed him so he at least had an option in the morning! The next night I asked again about anything I could send for breakfast. He mentioned he just needed a bar of something since he's running around so much. As soon as he said those words,  I thought, "AH-HA!! I know exactly what I'm going to try!" 

I've been enjoying finding random blogs here and there, and with that, some fun recipes! I tag them in my homemade spreadsheet to track my interests since pinterest still has yet to do what it does to accept people. My sister even tried sending me an invite but it's not coming through. Whatever. I'll find my own way to track what I like :) So back to breakfast for my man!  The most wonderful thing of all is that the recipes I wanted to try were easy-peasy. Perfect for not having very much energy.

The first is the 5 Minute Muffins - High Protein. He loved them! Success :) I did have a moment of clear thinking as I was finishing scooping up the last of the batter into the mini muffin tin....dark chocolate chips. Who doesn't need a little bit of antioxidants in the morning?! Done. Delicious addition. On a side note, I don't have a blender but a hand mixer did just fine.

The second is the  Chocolate Chip Granola Breakfast Bar (the original is called a triangle but I like a bar better!) I'm going to ease up on the honey the next time I try it since the honey we bought from a local has a bit of a strong taste to it. I also want to try adding some raisins and possibly some nuts. Mmmm. The hubbs liked it again! Another recipe winner! These will be great for hikes on the trail too - whenever we get to that. Needless to say, my man now has some on-the-run breakfast boxes!! I love that he's getting some all natural goodness into his system as fuel for his long days. 

Small Things

Awhile back, I shared the adventure of learning my feet had popped out bunions! I don't think I'll ever forget that day. (Moment of silence, please.) Then it was on to the adventure of shoe shopping for these new feet of mine! And it's certainly been interesting!

I had a bit of apprehension of looking for shoes. What in the world am I going to find? AND where in the world will I find anything?! A pure and simple fact that God continues to remind me about with various life circumstances is his intimate knowledge of the small things. I see his love and care through these random small things. There are much "bigger" issues and heart needs in this world than for me to have shoes. Yet, as I've needed shoes to accomodate my newly formed bunions, slowly but surely I've seen God provide. Here's how He's done it with shoes....

A couple days ago I was wearing my "girly" shoes - you know, ladies, the ones that just make you smile and love the fact that you're a girl?! Yes, those shoes. Here they are - my girly shoes! For my new bunion feet! (FYI: Our camera has officially died. All proceeding pictures were taken with my phone which doesn't capture the colors very well.)

They were on a fantastic sale - one of those days you're not looking for anything but it just happens and you find yourself finding a pair that fits AND you learn it's been given a great big discount. "Don't mind if I do, I'll take them!" Those are fun finds. I did need to have them stretched at local shoe store since they rubbed my bunions just a wee bit too much. That cost $8. I found that interesting. It's not often I need to have my shoes stretched! A fun fact is that I can do a solid four hours in these cuties. Then my feet begin to kindly tell me it's time for .... wait for it .... what I affectionately refer to as "my grandma shoes."

Don't laugh. My feet LOVE them. I was skeptical. I'll be honest. I didn't know what I'd have to change to adapt to this new foot feature and I knew it might be something like these. The unique part about these is that they don't do the typical curve into the arch area - it's a solid base. Can't miss it. All I can say is, "when my feet are happy, I'm happy."

I never thought I'd say that. These are my go-to. My comfort. My home away from home. That is was grandmas should be about though, right! Thanks, grandma shoes, I really appreciate you. For the record, these babies offer a good toe box for the bunions (wiggle, toes, wiggle!) and the solid base I need for the pronating that I do when I walk. Check it out:

Yes-sirree! Can't get more solid than that I say. One. Solid. Block. Of. Shoe.

Some other finds that have joined the journey....

Rain/Snow boots! Never thought I'd have boots with this much fur. Yet when I again found a pair that fit (with my inserts!) at 70% off, I bought them! Fur and all.

Speaking of these inserts, because of the pronation (roll in) when I walk, the podiatrist recommended having inserts to help with the arch support and to slow the bunion growth. I insert them into all my shoes, except my "girly" ones. Here are my trusty Asics that have seen me through a triathlon and half marathon. Well, not these specifically but former friends that I've since retired.

I'm totally putting a plug in for Sole products. A sales guy told me about the inserts AND that they have sandals for feet problems - oh, that would be me! I bought the inserts from him (they're fantastic!) AND went online and found flip flops on clearance. Yes, I bought two.

Good arch support AND the straps go further down the foot than normal, which bypasses the tender bunion area - Win-Win.

Finally, Karl loves the sporty look. Again, a good toe 'box' and the wide base on the bottom. I'm glad he likes them! They are growing on me.

As I've been on this journey, I learned from an older woman friend who also has bunions that it's a good idea to rotate the shoes my feet are in each day. I can't remember her reasoning yet remember thinking it made sense. Now that I've been at this awhile, I would agree. My feet do much better as I rotate things around. I'll try to remember that the rain/snow boots won't work too well in the summer warmth though.

Along with being reminded of God's intimate knowledge of the small things, since adapting these new shoes and not necessarily being able to choose any style I want, I've learned that the shoe styles I couldn't figure out why anyone would buy much less wear.... well, they serve a purpose. They may not be the cutest or the most stylish yet they serve a need. Don't judge us that wear these weird shoes. They make our feet happy. Oh the lessons that I'm learning through shoes - it's the small things :)

Never Once

Hindsight is 20/20. And I'm still kind of in awe.

Last week as we were hanging out with our village (fancy name for a small group of people that intentionally interact with each other and the Bible and how it impacts our day to day life) from church to talk about the sermon from Sunday, the question was asked, "Do you have an experience where your vertical relationship with God affected your horizontal relationship with a person in your life?" Need I say that Karl and I turned towards each other, caught each other's eye and burst out laughing?! I proceeded to say, "Why yes, yes I do have an experience to share."

A few from our group had read the previous blog about our time in Cabo but I filled in the others who had not. We even had some of those good-from-the-gut laughable moments as I shared and Karl filled in with his antics. As I was sharing, it dawned on me....Had Karl actually been saying for this for the last several months yet I just wasn't getting it?! I asked him after we were done sharing and he kindly smiled at me and nodded his head. Apparently, I need a 2x4 to wake me up sometimes! A little "self-righteousness" and "self-absorbed" thrown at me will also do. AHH! I get it. Thanks, honey, for helping me wake up! For helping to draw me back to Jesus as the One who is the Righteous One, who is the Lord and who gives His glory to no other.

It's a mystery sometimes how blind I can be. Then again, no, no it's not. I've fallen short of God's glory - He's the perfect one. I am not. Ten-four - Roger that! A song we sang in church tonight (yes, we meet at 5 pm on Sundays - it's awesome!! P.S. I adore sleeping in on Sunday mornings and getting to spend the morning with my husband!) yes....back to the song, it's called "Never Once" by Matt Redman. The lyrics really meant something to me tonight:

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Yes. He is faithful. He can be nothing but faithful. It's His character and He doesn't change. I've been thinking about the motto of our wedding, the phrase we put on the magnets we gave our guests - a reminder that our marriage is "For His Name's Sake." 

He never left us on our own. Even as we struggled to understand each other. Even as I just wasn't getting it. Even as we kept hitting wall after wall. As I poured out my heart to God these last several months asking Him to change me because I just didn't know what else to do and in the midst of that wondering where He was because I just wasn't seeing the change...He was faithful. It may not have been in my timeline but in His time. He is faithful. Never once did He leave us alone. 

Picking up Rocks

Over the weekend, I didn't know how to share our Cabo vacation experience with words as I contemplated where to begin. There was just too much! Thus, the post of Cabo began with pictures! Yet they don't tell the whole story.....

Believe it or not, Karl and I are far from perfect. It's hard to believe I know (meant to be read with a ton of sarcasm!!) And when God brings two sinners together in marriage - well, it becomes a kaleidoscope of colors! Sometimes it forms conflicting layers of color - perhaps when we expect the other to meet a need only God is meant to fill.  At other times it brings the colors into an amazing blend of beautiful layers - such as when we're both looking out for the interest of the other and not just our own interest. Our vacation was definitely a combo of beautiful and some not-so-pretty layers of color. This is the story that the pictures don't tell.

A book we are beginning to read and talk through with another couple is Timothy Keller's "The Meaning of Marriage." We read the first chapter on Tuesday morning during our vacation. In chapter one, Keller says (italics mine), "Marriage is glorious but hard. (Can I get an AMEN!) It's a burning joy and strength, and yet it is also blood, sweat, and tears, humbling defeats and exhausting victories." This whole quote stood out to me yet the phrase "exhausting victories" captured me in a different way. I was soon to find out why.

The beginning of our time in Cabo was amazing. Great weather, fun time hanging out, good back and forth of relaxing for Kristy (aka reading by the pool or ocean!) and something active for Karl (exploring the tide pools, making guac with Ferdinand, etc!). Some beautiful kaleidoscope layering of color! Then we hit our wall. Here comes the kaleidoscope not-so-pretty picture. And let me tell you, it wasn't pretty, people! It was the blood, sweat, and tears....and exhausting victories that Keller referred to in his book.

Why in the world are we sharing this?! We both believe in transparency. We're not perfect. Our marriage isn't perfect. We don't want pictures to tell some idyllic-what-seems-to-be-perfect story. It's not the whole truth. We want to be real. We want to tell about what God is doing.

As a way to tell about what God does through our lives, we began to collect rocks. In fact, here's our jar:

Kinda weird, huh! Let me explain. One of the very first times we hung out in person, we went to Portuguese Beach on the Northern California coast where Karl taught me to juggle with some small rocks. I didn't quite master the skill but Karl secretly kept the rocks!  A year later he presented these rocks as a reminder that God was orchestrating our relationship.  From that point, we decided to start a tradition that whenever we saw God's faithfulness in our lives, we'd take a rock from the area to remember His work. (Somewhat similar to the alters that were built in the Old Testament when God did something and the person/people wanted to recognize it - i.e. Joshua 4:1-7) We added two more rocks to the collection as we were in Cabo.

We picked these two rocks up from the beach on the Sea of Cortez to remind us that God is good. He is faithful. As you'll notice, they are layered - one with various spots and one with actual layers of color (usually we only choose one but sometimes ya just can't decide :) Sitting on some rocks on the beach, we had to peel a number of our own personal layers away as we talked through our very different personalities. As we pressed into the hard areas of our hearts, we felt the blood, sweat, tears, and humbling defeats of marriage. Over the course of the conversation, we felt God begin to break through both of us. Yet, as the day progressed we realized it was only the beginning.

Our blood, sweat, and tears lasted through the night - literally. Neither of us got much sleep. It was a rough night. The only thing that held us that night was being able to cry out to Jesus.  Although the night was rough, the next morning we felt that God had done more work chipping away at the hard areas of our hearts. So without much sleep, we headed off on a whale watching tour before catching our flight home.  

Believe it or not there was still more work to be done.  Lasting throughout the weekend, the conversation that began on Tuesday was still rubbing raw and bringing light to the areas that needed it. And just so we're not talking abstractly here, two issues Karl brought to my attention that he was seeing in me were that one I had become self-absorbed and two I had become self-righteous. Ugly! I was not expecting that! Needless to say, I was a bit taken aback with those observations. And yet after the shock wore off, I had to agree with him. Confess it, repent of it and ask his and God's forgiveness.

That is where life begins to get beautiful layers of color. Sin is ugly. It definitely does not glorify a pure and holy God. YET it sure shows me how beautiful Jesus is as He willingly laid down his own life by taking not just my sin but the sins of the world upon himself so that we would no longer be separated from a pure, Holy God. Jesus puts me back into a right relationship with God every time I sin.

As Karl and I continued fighting for our marriage over the weekend (in the sense that we both know there is more God wants to do in each of us and in our marriage if we fight for it rather than ignore issues or stuff them), we continued to see God chip things away. Especially after Karl called me out on what he was seeing and I repented and asked for forgiveness. There was a new softening on my heart. I didn't know that I had had a hard heart. I kinda knew my relationship with God over the last year had been different and had attributed it to ALL the changes that had been taking place. I think all the changes were a piece of my relationship being different yet now know that somewhere along the line, seeds of self-righteousness and becoming self-absorbed had begun to sprout.

If marriage has taught me anything thus far, it is definitely the fact that Jesus has absolute reign and everything is for His glory - not my own. I can do nothing on my own. There will continue to be things we work through. This was one of those "exhausting victories." What the pictures don't tell - Vacation ended up being exhausting. The fact that we continued to press into hard conversation, peeling layers back, and being real with each other led to the victory of having my heart softened. Only something God can do.

One day at a time. One victory at a time - some more exhausting than others :) And picking up rocks along the way to remind ourselves of God's faithfulness. His goodness. He doesn't change.

Cabo

A picture is worth a thousand words...

The view from our room 

A closer look at the Sea of Cortez

Our room - A jacuzzi tub is through the shutters that are open into the bathroom!

Nothing like an ocean sunset!

Aquarobics - sounds good to me!

It didn't take much for me to stare at this view for awhile.
Karl definitely got antsy. We learned we need to do more excursions!

Hacienda Encantada has a great kids area!!

Karl helped Ferdinand with the demonstration of guacamole!

He makes a mean guac! 

I decided while looking at the waves crashing that a few of
these pics in white frames will look great in our bathroom!

A friendly lady picked up our camera to get some shots of us - kinda funny!

Another view that wasn't hard to stare at for a time. 

The pool bar behind me was fun to sit at and order food and drink(s).

Infinity pools have great views. 

Another picture to be framed!

The Arch between the Pacific Ocean and the Sea of Cortez
- on our way to some whale watching! 

A bird on a rock.

Another bird. On a rock.

I like having life jackets on the ocean!


We came upon a HUGE pod of dolphins.
And by huge I mean at least 150 swimming all around us.


Then a mama whale and her calf caught our attention.

Our room was the top balcony on the very right of this picture.

Drink of choice for the week was a margarita for Karl and mudslide for me.
I did try a Sea Breeze - cranberry & grapefruit juice & vodka - delicious, fresh, crisp.
I'm noting this so I can reference it when I wonder "what was that drink I had that one time"!

One last view during our final lunch after whale-watching.

They might be in America now yet new flavors are always to be had internationally -
chocolate and strawberry was a new one for me!